Some couples choose a surrogate mother as a preferred option for having a kid. Every intended parent is different, but there are many important reasons why having a surrogate may be the best choice for you to have a child.
Before going through this process, a prospective parent must understand all the important issues about surrogacy to decide if this procedure is right for them. In this article, we comprehensively talked about how to choose a surrogate mother and the important issues in this regard. So stay with us till the end of this paper.
Why do People choose surrogate mother?
There are different reasons for choosing surrogacy as medical help for having kids. The most common causes for using surrogacy are:
- Hysterectomy or lack of uterus (congenital or acquired)
- Women with a uterus who have some uterine anomalies, severe adhesions of the uterus, etc., or have a thin endometrium.
- Repeatedly experienced unsuccessful IVF despite the implantation of high-quality embryos.
- Frequent miscarriages.
- The presence of a special disease in the mother, which pregnancy causes the disease to worsen in such a way that it is unbearable or life-threatening (such as advanced heart failure or severe complicated diabetes).
- High blood pressure or heart and respiratory diseases, etc.
- Ectopic pregnancy
- Consecutive premature births, etc.
- Infertility of couples: they may be infertile for reasons such as severe endometriosis or Asherman’s syndrome (uterine ulcer).
- Severe pelvic adhesions, for example, due to severe endometriosis or repeated surgeries of the uterus and ovaries.
- The use of some drugs that are making pregnancy dangerous.
Who is a surrogate mother?
A surrogate mother is a woman who artificially (through IVF and IUI) gets pregnant with the father’s sperm. The sperm can be provided by the intended father or a donor. Then the surrogate carries the fetus in her uterus and delivers the baby to the intended parents to raise. In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate does not share biological connection to the baby and works merely as a carrier however, in traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is the biological mother of the baby since her egg was inseminated by the father’s or donor’s sperm.
Requirements to choose surrogate mother ( in Tebmedtourism )
Women who want to be surrogates (gestational carriers) must have the necessary conditions for this process. Some of these conditions are scientific and fixed, and some are observed according to the cultural and legal conditions of each society.
Surrogacy in Iran also has certain conditions, which a legal advisor will explain to the candidates before starting the procedure.
Candidates for surrogacy need to have the below conditions:
- They need to be less than 35 years old.
- It is preferable to have a history of pregnancy and having children.
- The husband of the candidate must be fully satisfied.
- She should have full satisfaction and commitment to continue the pregnancy.
- She must have been checked for physical diseases that prevent pregnancy and the use of certain drugs.
- Hepatitis and AIDS tests should be negative.
- Surrogates should not have an addiction or smoke.
- Her mental health must have been confirmed.
- She needs to have Iranian citizenship.
- Having moral competence
- Mental and physical health
Questions to Ask from a Potential Surrogate
It is important to get to know your potential surrogate more and have a better view of them so that you could choose the best surrogate according to your pregnancy and birth plans.
It should be noted that since it is the surrogate’s body, they should be comfortable doing things and you cannot make them do anything against their own will.
Therefore, it may seem necessary to ask certain questions from your potential surrogate before starting:
Why did you decide to become a surrogate?
Knowing the reason behind volunteering for being a surrogate is sometimes clarifying the whole situation better.
Many surrogates enjoy the idea of giving birth to a baby and making a miracle for a family while there might be some surrogates who mostly care about the money that they will receive.
Can we meet your husband?
If the surrogate lives with her husband, you may want to meet him to see who he is and make sure he is supportive of his wife. If you get the sense that he is not supporting the process, you can make a wise decision about it because this can make a stressful pregnancy for both the surrogate and your baby.
Are you open to communicating and collaborating?
Discuss the communication plan and see if they can agree on the challenges.
Discuss these questions to see if you agree on common ground:
does she agree to have you in her home?
If not, is she ready to call you before giving birth? If it is important to have skin-to-skin contact after childbirth, you should find a surrogate who agrees with that.
Discuss the supplements that she needs to take and the medical protocols that need to be followed. You can discuss whether you can accompany your surrogate to the pre-natal tests or doctor appointments and or not.
If you insist on an organic diet for your surrogate during the pregnancy period, you can talk about it before starting and provide extra funds for that.
How to choose surrogate mother?
When you want to choose a surrogate mother, you should consider a few things to have a better choice. Here are some of the important factors that intended parents should have in mind before they choose a surrogate.
- Medical history: the most important factor to consider before choosing a surrogate is checking the surrogate’s health and her physical and hormonal ability to carry a child. Some of the features that will be checked include height, weight, hormonal level, mental and emotional health, a clean history of drug use or excessive alcohol use, etc.
- Body Mass Index (BMI): surrogates should have a Body Mass Index (BMI) between 19 to 33. High BMI can cause complications during pregnancy and after delivery. On the other side, low BMI levels can cause an increased risk of preterm delivery. In addition, when a surrogate has a too high or low BMI, getting pregnant can take longer.
- Age: the age of surrogates should be between 21-40 to decrease the risks of pregnancy. Some medical problems such as hypertension or preeclampsia are common in older ages. Therefore, choosing a young surrogate decrease medical concerns.
- Pregnancy history: another important factor is checking the pregnancy and also the delivery history of the potential surrogate. Most of the time, having a previous successful delivery is a condition for being a surrogate.
- Lifestyle: most intended parents like to have a surrogate with a healthy lifestyle because it ensures that their baby will grow safer. Some parents may even request their surrogate to have an organic diet which can be arranged before starting the surrogacy journey.
What is the Cheapest Way to Get a Surrogate?
Surrogacy does not have a fixed price and it is highly dependent on the country where you carry out the procedure and the fee that your healthcare facilitator requires.
Iran is the cheapest country for surrogacy regarding the quality of provided services and among the active agencies in the field of infertility treatment especially surrogacy, TebMedTourism offers the most affordable cost to the international couples.
For having a surrogate, you can decide to do it independently or you can get the help of an experienced healthcare facilitator company.
The truth is, in some cases, people may save some money by pursuing surrogacy independently; however, they will find the required services more difficult in independent surrogacy.
In addition, they will not have legal support and an expert consultant to guide them through the whole process and need to handle all the problems on their own.
Due to the sensitivity of the surrogacy process, you need an experienced company that knows all the details of this procedure from the starting point until the end.
TebMedTourism has the experience of thousands of surrogacy cases and is fully aware of legal contracts and documents that you, the clients, need to have a safe and successful experience of surrogacy.
TebMedTourism legally supports and guide you through every step of the way until you get the passport of your newborn and go back to your country as a family.
Can my Sister be my Surrogate Mother?
The short answer is yes! If your sister has the required conditions for surrogacy why not?
- The proper age limitation for being a surrogate is 18 to 40 years old; therefore, you do not have to be necessarily in your twenties.
- If you have a healthy BMI from 18 to 32, you have a proper body mass index.
- The best surrogacy candidates have no history of problems during pregnancy or delivery.
- They should not have a history of drug or alcohol abuse.
- The candidate must be a non-smoker and must live in a smoke-free environment.
- Usually, a surrogate mother cannot have a criminal record, even if the candidate is a sibling.
- If you think you have all the requirements, your next step is to visit a professional facilitator company like TebMedTourism. We will walk you through all the requirements and start the process.
Considerations before Choosing a Sibling as your Surrogate
It should be mentioned that surrogacy is emotionally and practically a complicated journey and both parties should be aware of it before starting.
Here are some common issues that may arise when a sibling is your surrogate:
•Competition between siblings:
If you are considering being a surrogate for your sister, consider the challenges of doing that. The sense of competition between siblings can reveal itself quickly.
You might feel jealous of your sister’s abilities when you cannot have children, which can make your relationship complicated.
If you are considering having a sibling as your surrogate, you may think about an altruistic surrogacy. In order to save some of your money, she may be ok with not receiving compensation for your services.
However, you may have to pay cash for some surrogacy expenses, such as taking off from work, medical appointments, tests, ultrasounds, etc.
Discussing these expenses after your surrogacy journey has begun can be awkward; therefore, we always recommend some kind of compensation to keep both parties happy during and after the process.
•Crossing Personal Boundaries:
When you take a surrogacy journey with a sibling, the relationship you had before will change forever.
Some discussions may happen that you have never talked about them with your sibling before.
For example, the sister carrying her brother’s child must be comfortable with him during childbirth and gynecological appointments.
•Changes in family dynamics:
Finally, anyone who wishes to have a sibling as their surrogate should consider how this choice would affect the family relationships. In traditional surrogacy, this relationship could get even more complicated, which makes gestational surrogacy always recommended.
The surrogate will have a unique relationship with her niece or nephew that she may not have with other relatives.
How the family will handle this issue as the child grows up should be discussed before the surrogacy process begins.
If you are considering surrogacy as a treatment to have your baby, TebMedTourism is the best choice since we offer surrogacy services with warranty of success with unlimited number of IVF cycles and embryo transfer (needs examination of the patient’s medical records).
For further information, feel free to contact us 24/7 free of charge.